


The Knight

by JioojyaDaisy



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Romance, Secret Identity, Secrets, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-05-01 21:23:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19185748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JioojyaDaisy/pseuds/JioojyaDaisy
Summary: I'm testing the waters with some self insert work for one of my favourite fandoms while also feeding my love for Sniper. Sue me.This is a female reader self insert so just roll with it?If you like it please comment! I'd love to hear more from other fans!Also if you have steam add me Jioojya Daisy (JD)





	1. The New Mercenary

You woke up excited, this is the day your interview happens. You climb out of bed and rush towards your bathroom, after a quick morning piss and teeth brush you climb into your shower and begin to thoroughly scrub yourself clean making sure to get every inch of your body, taking special care to cover all the places you sweat. Once satisfied you wrap yourself up in a towel and exit your bathroom to get dressed.

Walking to your wardrobe you pick out a smart purple shirt and plain black trousers, putting on your comfiest most practical underwear once dry to begin to smarten yourself up. Satisfied with how your outfit sits you head to your desk to re-read the letter you received the morning prior.

“Congratulations!  
You have been formally invited to an interview with Miss Pauling of Mann Co. to promote your abilities and skills and hopefully prove to be a valuable asset to our current team. Please bring examples of your work with you and be prepared to give a physical demonstration.  
We will be expecting you at 20:00 in Tuefort.  
Transport has been supplied and you should be with us in due time.  
We look forward to seeing you!  
Yours faithfully,  
Mann Co.”

Smiling to the short letter you quickly grab your suitcase which you packed the night before and set it on your bed to double check its contents. Happy with your supplies you stand before your mirror and give your best damn smile. “I’ve got this!” You boast before looking over to your desk, the mechanical arm brace you made glints slightly in the light coming through your bedroom window, picking it up you check all the wiring components to ensure they’re all correctly placed and working.

Just as your about to prepare some breakfast the buzzer for your flat rings loudly at your front door, putting down the still empty bowl you rush over to answer. “Hello?”

“Good morning, I am here on behalf of Mann Co. I have been instructed to collect you and transport you to your destination.” The voice that answers you is calm and collected and without any further hesitation you skip breakfast and rush out the door. Taking each downward step two at a time until you see the person waiting to collect you.

With a small nod the man greets you with a sort of scepticism and opens a door to a black fancy looking car, sliding yourself in with suitcase beside you, you watch as the driver closes the door and then climbs in himself. “I am Alexander, I’ll be driving you to the airport, once there we will be boarding a Mann Co. jet to Mexico where we will then travel to Tuefort. Is that understood?”

Nodding you smile, “I can’t believe I get to see Mexico at all! I’ve heard of Mann Co. and their work but I didn’t ever dream they’d want someone like me, especially all the way from England!” There is a flurry of excited butterflies now circling your stomach as the engine starts and Alexander begins to drive towards London Heathrow airport.

After a couple of hours driving you reach the airport and true enough there is a small Mann Co. jet waiting for you and your driver, the pilot simple nodding his head towards you before leading you up into the plane. Once inside you see it isn’t some extravagant first class jet but one of practicality, crates fill the back portion with words like “submachine gun” and “medical supplies”.

The flight itself takes twelve hours to finally arrive but once you land you feel the butterflies double in your stomach, you check the local time and it’s just coming up to five in the evening, you were given a small meal on the jet but you’re still hungry. “Alexander?” You ask quietly waiting for him to respond, his eyes look at you in the rear-view mirror of the second car. “Don’t suppose we have time to stop for food? I had to skip breakfast.”

Taking a small detour on your journey was nothing more than ten minutes at a drive through where you got yourself a large burger and fries, after eating the drive to Tuefort continued in an awkward silence with your driver. Just as you began seeing less buildings and more desert you start to regret eating as the food churned nervously in your belly.

Clearing his throat Alexander grabs your attention. “Now we are approaching the location, we will be not passing by Tuefort, do you have everything you need?” You give a simple nod and the driver makes a sharp turn towards a large rock.

Confused you sit gripping onto the handle of your suitcase as the rock formation draws closer, the speed of your car keeping its pace. Before you get ten yards away a small portion of the boulder begins to move and reveals another road hidden within. Amazed you gape as the car enters the secret path and drives toward a small wooden building, slowing only when you begin to pull up.

Once the car stops you unbuckle your seatbelt and exit the car, Alexander standing beside you as you both walk into the wooden shack, the door unlocked as your driver pushes it open. Inside the room is a single desk, two chairs and a single woman. “Welcome, you must be…” The woman paused. “Oh I did not expect you to be female. Sorry I am Miss Pauling. Please sit.”

Questioning her reaction you step forward with your suitcase in hand a sit as Miss Pauling instructed, your eyes never leaving her face. “Nice to meet you, before we start can I just say how thankful I am for this opportunity.”

Nodding once the woman in a purple blouse and block skirt smiles slightly, “Normally I’d say the same but considering the current situation I have to make one thing clear before we start. Our company only hires male mercenaries.” Standing up Miss Pauling sighed. “I’m afraid you’ve come all this way for nothing.”

Slightly angered by her response you stand up and slam your suitcase on the desk. “Excuse me for being rude but you too are female and you were hired by Mann Co. I see no reason why my situation should be any different! I brought all that was requested of me and have travelled a long way to get to this interview!”

Cocking her head Miss Pauling smirked. “That’s a pretty bad attitude for a Brit I’ll admit, the issue still stands you are female however. Unless…” Trailing off the woman interviewing you puts a hand to her face in thought. “How attached are you to your hair?”

Confused you shrug, “Not particularly? I don’t see how this will change things.” Hearing the door into the room shut you turn to see you are now alone with the woman opposite you.

With a confident smile Miss Pauling steps towards you. “I can alter your papers, put you down as male. You’ll need to keep your real gender under secrecy but we can provide binding wraps and cut your hair to begin this little ruse. But before you jump at this I’ll need to see what you can do.”

With a smirk you open your suitcase and pull out the metal brace, you attach it to your left wrist and press a single button, in a matter of seconds a large metal shield expands from the contraption to hide your entire body from Miss Pauling’s view. “I call it a ‘Deplorable Shield’ as it can fire poison darts from its centre.” Poking your head out from the side you watch as the black haired woman nods and begins to assess your shield.

“Looks sturdy, could it be altered to shield more than one person?” Miss Pauling asks, you think for a little while then nod before she continues. “Okay that would be ideal for the team aspect. Now considering what you’ve been told about the mercenaries would you be comfortable in taking the role of a male?”

Pressing another button your shield retracts back into your arm brace, “Without a doubt! I came here with purpose and I intend to prove myself.” Taking off the brace and placing it back into the suitcase you wait as Miss Pauling sits back down at the desk and pulls out a pile of files.

Opening each file you notice a single picture and an information sheet on what you assume to be the other mercenaries. “This is the team. There are currently nine other members. Scout, he is young, fast and stupid. Pyro, not much is known except they’re insane and adore fire. Soldier, he is a pure blood American and will not fail to remind you of this. Engineer, he is a Texan with a knack for machines, he may be able to help you alter your shield. Heavy, big Russian man, lots of large weapons and a love for sandwiches. Demoman, black, drunk and Scottish. Don’t make him man.” Taking a pause as you look over the files Miss Pauling takes a breath. “Medic, German and crazy, he likes to experiment. Spy, he’ll try to find out all he can about you so when we get to your file make sure to follow it to the letter or you’ll be outed. Then finally we have Sniper, he is an incredible marksman and likes his solitude.” Looking up from the files you and Miss Pauling nod to one another.

Closing and placing your suitcase to the floor a new file is placed before you, it has a lot of blank space. “I guess this is me?” The black haired woman nods. “Okay so I’ll pick an alias name and you provide the rest?” Another nod. “Then how about Charlie? It’s a traditional British name.”

Thinking for a second Miss Pauling nods, “Sounds suitable, now you are a twenty-four year old man from London, you have no living relatives and no dependants. You enjoy alcohol?” A question more than a statement so you just nod. “But you also like solitude. This will encourage the others to leave you alone.” Once the file is completed Miss Pauling gathers them all once more and puts them into a secure briefcase. “Now which team? BLU, Builders League United or RED, Reliable Excavation Demolition?”

Taking a minute to think of what could be the difference between the teams you decided on RED, the colour more suited to your personality than a calm BLU. “I feel like there isn’t much of a difference but RED.” Confident with your choice you watch as the black haired woman pull out a map.

“You will stay the night in these barracks to equip you with binders and cut your hair and then tomorrow Alexander will drive you as close as he can to RED base, after that it’s all up to you. Follow this map to find the entrance then burn it.” The black haired woman handed you the man then open a door behind her to reveal a single bed, small sink and a shard of mirror stuck to the wall. “It isn’t much but it will do for one night.”

Entering the room you place your suitcase onto the bed and open it, taking a short inhale you remove all your bras, “Not going to need these anymore am I?” Putting them to one side you sign. Before turning to look at the shard of mirror, playing with a few strands of your hair. “So long old friend.” After half an hour Miss Pauling knocks on the door with an electric in hand. “Time to shave my head then.” You laugh as the woman in the doorway approaches, the lead of the razor dangling before she plugs it into the only plug socket beside the sink.

Turning to face you Miss Pauling smiles, “Okay lean over the sink and let’s get to work. You’ll be down to about half an inch so say goodbye to your hair Charlie.” Watching you lean forward the black haired woman begins to run the razor across your head, the buzzing the only sound as you both stand in silence, hair falling into the sink and onto the floor. “After this we’ll get you fitted for some bindings.”

After some time your head feels cooler and lighter, the short cut seeming to fit your face nicely, you had always been told you have a very neutral face and now you see why. Hearing footsteps you turn to see Miss Pauling carrying a handful of skin tone binding wraps, each a different shade until you both find one that matches your own skin tone.  
Seeing how late it has gotten both you and the other woman decide it be best you sleep now and continue preparations in the morning. Sleep catches up with you quickly after your early morning and long day of travelling.

The next morning you awoken by a loud ringing of an alarm as Miss Pauling bursts into the room with a wide smile. “Up and at them Charlie! Time to finish preparations and send you on your way. The team has been informed you will be arriving so you should be safe travelling there.” The black haired woman helped you wrap your bindings, helping you learn how to do them yourself when alone in the base making your chest flat as a cutting board.

Once fully packed again, remembering to leave your bras behind, you walk outside to Alexander who is stood waiting by the car, he takes a double take of you before smirking to himself. “Welcome to Mann Co. Charlie, happy to have you with us. I have been briefed on your situation and have been sworn to secrecy.” Opening the car door he allows you to slide into the car for perhaps the last time, your suitcase beside you.

An hour of driving later and Alexander stops the car, you take the map from your pocket and open it up then begin heading north from where you were dropped off. Another hour of walking and you see the formation of a large red building ahead of you, the sun above and binding beneath your shirt does nothing to ease you with the blistering heat. Taking a few more steps forward you freeze when a single bullet hits the ground beside your foot, a van approaching at high speed.

“Hands in the air maggot!” A loud harsh voice yells from the approaching van, a man with a low set helmet and large broad shoulder leaning from one of the windows. “I said hands in the air!”

Doing as instructed you recognise this man as ‘Soldier’ and take a breath. “I’m the new merc! Miss Pauling said she called ahead to let you guys know.”

The van pulls up beside you and two men exit the vehicle, Soldier a tall man then who appears to be Engineer on the other side, his yellow helmet hiding the top half of his head as he looks into a file. “This guy matches what we’ve got description wise, what’s your name partner?”

Lowering your hands slowly you smile politely, “Names Charlie, from London. You must be the Engineer and Soldier right?”

Both parties nod then wave to you as though instructing you to approach. “Right lad, let’s get back to base and out this heat huh? Got some nice cold beers back there, it’s a ceasefire day so you can meet everyone, oh it was Sniper who gave the warning shot by the way.” The Engineer turns around and waves towards the building in the distance at which a flashing light responds. “He says welcome.”

“Got a funny way of saying it, fucking hell.” Scuffing the dirt beside you where the bullet landed a glint of copper catches your eye so you pick up the bullet and scoff at the neatness of it, “Though he’s a good shot, give him that much credit.” Pocketing the bullet you make a mental note to return this with some added sass to the Sniper when you actually meet him.

All three people climb into the van which begins to drive towards RED base, the building looks like an old barn but it’s tall and appears to be well supplied though you wonder what BLU is like in comparison. Pulling into a garage an energetic person runs towards the van as it stops, his buck teeth clear as day as he begins to ramble at you. “So you’re the new merc huh? Not much to look at are you? Heard you’re from London, what’s it like there? Bet it’s busy! I’m from Boston, born and raised. Ma said she’s been to London once and it was busy. I’m the Scout by the way, names Jeremy!”

Taking a second to gather all the information you’ve just been given you smile politely at the young man. “Nice to meet you Jeremy, I’m Charlie, yes London is busy and while I may not look like much I assure you I am more than capable to handle myself here.” The pair of you lock eyes for a beat before another man enters the room.

“Ah zis must be zhe new team member! I am zhe Medic, please come with me, I need to add you into our respawn machine.” Without waiting for you to reply you grab your suitcase once again and jog after the Medic, his long strides difficult to keep up with. “Once ve are done vith the respawn you can explore the base, your room is located in the East side of zhe building. Miss Pauling made sure to send all your medical notes to me to reduce time of process.”

Entering a sterile white room you see nothing but a large machine in it’s centre. “So what is this ‘respawn’ thing you keep talking about Medic?” Walking up to the machine it opens, nothing inside except for steel lined walls.

Giving you a gentle nudge the Medic pushes you into the machine. “It is quite simple ja, zhis machine will bring you back,” Closing the door behind you the Medic smiles wide, it’s almost terrifying. “From the dead, we all use it during missions.”

Before you have chance to question what the man meant a flash of blinding light consumes your vision followed by a hissing noise before the door opens again and you almost fall out the machine. “Wait did you say ‘back from the dead?’ I don’t get it.”

Laughing loudly the Medic simply pats your shoulder. “Do not fret now Charlie, you vill learn in time, now go find your room and meet everyone in the common room in about an hour ja?” Turning to leave you take a glance backwards with a raised brow trying to figure out what exactly it is you’re going to be doing here in RED.

Walking through the base you take in everything around you as best you can, lots of bare walls, the smell of stale cigarette smoke and the sound of distance yelling and laughing. As you find yourself in the East side of the building you find a series of four doors, each with a different symbol on them. Then one at the end of the corridor with a large shield logo embossed onto the wood. “That must be me?” Pushing the door open you see a small letter sitting on a single bed addressed ‘New Mercenary’ setting your suitcase you chuckle. “Definitely me.”

Opening the letter you read out loud. “Welcome to RED, you are a one in a billion person given a great opportunity to work for Mann Co. as one of their skilled mercenaries! We hope you find your work space and living space adequate and that you’ll work hard to help not just your team but also your company.”

After putting your suitcase under the bed, now only consisting of your more feminine clothes you make sure to hide it best you can. The few pairs of jeans and shirts which don’t expose your female self are hung in a small wardrobe opposite your bed, next to said wardrobe is another door leading into a small bathroom with a shower. ‘At least I won’t have to sneak around for showers’ you think.

After spending almost an hour sat on your bed staring at nothing but the wall you decide to make your way to the common room to meet the rest of your team and you hope someone will tell you just what kind of job being a mercenary for RED is like.

Entering a large room filled with couches, a fridge and some empty beer bottles you soon find out why people are shouting so much. The person you assume to be Demoman is dancing on one of the coffee tables while spilling a beer over himself, a large man with a thick Russian accent you know to be the Heavy trying to get him down.

“Gentlemen.” A suave voice sounds from across the room which suddenly captures everyone’s attentions including the drunks. “Our new team member has arrived.” Gesturing towards you the man bows his head. “I am the Spy, welcome to RED.” The man then proceeds to light a cigarette, now you know why the smell of smoke is here.

Bowing your head in return you smile and give a small wave. “Hi everyone, I’m Charlie, I’m supposed to be here to help in any way I can. I brought my ‘talent’ with me if you need a demonstration?” Watching as six out of the nine heads staring at you nod eagerly, some more than others, Scout. “Okay, here goes.” Slipping on your wrist brace you lift your left arm and press one of the buttons on it before it expands. A few audible gasps can be heard before someone grabs the shield and tugs it down, you with it.

A person in a latex suit is peeking over your shield, their voice muffled by their mask. “Mmff! Mmm bbf mmm!” You just smile and press another button making the shield retract.

Clapping his hands together the Engineer stood from his spot on the couch and walked over to you. “That’s some mine fine work there Charlie, you could do a lot with a decent shield like that.” Taking a moment to think the man grins widely. “Let’s work on it together, names Dell, my workshop is next to the garage. Come by any time and bring that with you! Oh and Pyro said you look like a superhero with a magic shield by the way, don’t worry you’ll learn to understand them.”

Nodding you are about to thank Dell for his invitation when someone clears their throat. “Nice trick mate, gonna be fun watching bullets ricochet off that thing.” The Sniper steps away from the kitchenette with a mug of coffee which says ‘#1 Sniper’ his face mostly hidden by aviators and a hat.

Heavy then takes a step forward, “Tiny man with tiny shield. Can make shield big for Misha? That’s name by the way.” The large man stands over you, his welcoming face and opens arms give you some sort of comfort so you nod at him. “Ha! Good I am big man!”

“Okay so we have Jeremy, Dell, Misha. Anyone else got a name if I may be so bold to ask?” You smile at the room while the others all glance to one another.

Sighing Spy finishing his cigarette, “I am just Spy, Pyro is just Pyro but our Demoman is Tavish, Medic is Ludwig, Soldier is…”

Interrupting the Soldier jumps up and heads straight for you. “You are British and I don’t like you maggot! You do not get to know my name!”

Taking a step back you raise both your hands in defence as fist threatens to strike your face. “Hey c’mon now mate don’t scare the poor roo.” The Sniper uses his free hand to put some distance between you and Soldier which you appreciate. “I’m Mundy, Mick Mundy.” You chuckle at the name inside your mind.

After everyone questions you about your life back in London the group then all go back to their original activities, though Tavish never really stopped. Standing beside the fridge you decide to check its contents but there is nothing but bread and beer being kept inside and what appears to be a jar of milk. With a hefty sigh you make a mental note to ask about how meals work in this place just Ludwig comes up to you. “Ah Charlie, how are you settling in? Everzhing good ja?”

Shrugging you close the fridge door, “Seems to be alright, they’re pretty much as unique as I expected, though a little overbearing. Especially Soldier. Dell’s kind enough and Jeremy is loud… like really loud, same with Tavish.” You take a moment to think before asking, “What’s the deal with meals here by the way?”

“Oh zhat, we normally eat vhat we have. No one really cooks.” The Medic explains, his finger adjusting round glasses. “We have got ration orders but as no one likes to cook no one bothers, unless you cook?”

There is a question you weren’t expecting, yes you can cook, you live, lived, alone for Christ’s sake but should you offer? “I mean I can but I wouldn’t want to change things if they’re already set in stone.”

Jeremy then rushed over, “You cook?! Man we haven’t had a proper cooked meal in about a year! Please cook something Charlie! It’d be great! What class are you by the way? Like the name of it?”

Another good question, how do you plan to answer this one? “I guess I’m a Knight of sorts? I mean big shield defending you guys.”

Pyro is next to you as you explain and claps excitedly “Mmmf bbbb mmmmm!”

“Translation, ‘Knight in shining armour!’ I promise you’ll learn.” Ludwig reaffirms from the Engineers previous statement. “But yes if you vould cook for us some time it vould be appreciated! We could all use a good meal some times.”

The evening progresses as expected with each team member leaving to do their own thing leaving you alone in your room once again, chest beginning to ache from the constant pressure of your bindings. Feeling a little nervous you enter your bathroom and make sure to lock the door before stripping away your clothes, the frosted window pane letting in the light of a setting sun. “Let’s see what tomorrow brings.” You say to yourself before unwinding your wraps and allowing yourself to breath before getting into a baggy set of pyjamas and climbing into your new bed. Reaching under the bed before you settle you grab hold of a small koala plush pulling it tightly to your chest, its right eye missing the left barely hanging on by its threads. “Goodnight Micky.”


	2. First Battle

The next morning you’re woken by a fierce knocking on your door followed by the sound of Soldier “WAKE UP YOU LAZY WEASEL!” Grunting to show you’re awake you hear heavy boots walk away from your door and decided to stretch in your bed before swinging both legs over the edge of it. Your plush koala now sitting against the pillow as you walk towards your bathroom, washing your face with cold water to bring yourself to a more awakened state.

Once bound and dressed you head to the common room for a potential breakfast, there are three other mercenaries already there; Heavy, Medic and Soldier. “Ah good morning Charlie, come have some toast vhit us ja?” Nodding you sit at the table and help yourself to the toast on the tables centre. “Ve vill make sure to give you zhe supply details for zhe ration orders after our missions today.”

Looking for something to spread on your toast you sigh knowing there is nothing so you just nod again, “I’ve been meaning to ask about that. What exactly is our mission?” Biting into the toast you allow yourself some time to enjoy the quiet crunch.

“We take briefcase from enemy team.” Misha said between bites of his own toast, “Enemy team is BLU.” He then clarified.

Taking a minute to process what you’ve been told you think about why Miss Pauling would have offered you a position on either team when you are meant to fight the one you didn’t choose. Suddenly a soft sound occurs beside you as Spy materialises in the chair just next to yours, his suit clean pressed and neat as he sparks up a cigarette. “Bonjour.”

It doesn’t take long for the loud Scout to enter the room his bouncing energy not at all faded despite the early hours. “Morning guys! Who’s looking forward to stealing some Intel? I’m pretty pumped! Look I even worked out this morning.” The young man attempted to flex his arms but there is no sign of distinct muscle so you just roll your eyes.

Soon the whole team is gathered in the common room though you notice Sniper comes in just for a coffee then leaves as soon as he appeared. Before you get to talk to anyone else a loud siren sounds as a woman’s voice coms over the speaker system. “Attention RED the match will begin in sixty seconds.” Before you can ask questions the whole team begin to shuffle around and get busy preparing while you’re stood there with a coffee in hand.

“You may vant to find your gear Knight.” Ludwig comments before donning his backpack and medi-gun, his weapon locking onto the Heavy as it begins to hum and a gauge fills along its side.

Rushing back to your room you grab your arm brace and slide it over your exposed left hand up to your upper arm, you head for the locker room where you find a small crate labelled Knight just shy of the main door to your base. Opening it you find an old English Flintlock pistol and a longsword which you attach to your belt loops.

Another siren sounds and the speaker comes back to life, “The match will begin in 10 seconds.” The voice is that of an older woman you recognise and you wonder just how many work behind the scenes.

After a five second countdown you see the rest of your team preparing for something, the large door opens at one and they all charge out, Demoman screaming, Scout taking off in blurry of movement and the heavy, medic duo following soon after. Unsure of what’s to come you head out carefully and follow Dell to your Intel room where he begins to build a sentry turret. “What’s going on?” You ask cautiously.

Looking up from a now second stage sentry the Engineer smiles and tips his helmet. “We got to defend our Intel from BLU else they could learn a lot of things about us we don’t want them too.” The answer is to the point but doesn’t clarify much else for you.

After a short period of time you decide to venture out of the Intel room and come face to face with Scout but instead of wearing a red shirt this one is wearing a blue one, his eyes locking onto you as he jumps backwards. “Who the hell are you?” He asks before raising a shortstop pistol.

Full of nerves you press a button on your brace and deploy your shield, the large metal now being met with a slew of bullets being fired from the blue wearing Scout before it stops, looking over your shield you see your red scout carrying a large blue briefcase on his back and a wicked grin on his face, the body of the blue Scout collapsed to the floor. “YOU KILLED HIM!” You exclaim.

“It’s our job to defend our Intel Charlie, we got to do whatever it takes, besides he’ll respawn soon.” The scout runs past you and deposits the enemy Intel into your own base.

Following the red Scout outside your base you see a flurry of weapons being fired and bodies dropping on both sides, your heart pounding in your chest as a blue Heavy walks towards you the barrel of his gun spitting bullets in your direction, one hitting your arm as you scream in pain. Falling to one knee your shield breaks apart and shatters to the ground around you, another round of bullets coming straight for your head.

Black.

Gasping you scream out into a white room, “DON’T KILL ME!” your heart still hammering in your chest as you see nothing before a flash of white light occurs beside you and Medic appears. In a panic you run over to him, tears threatening to fall down your cheeks.

Adjusting his shoulders Ludwig notices you and sighs loudly, “Come on now dummkopf! You need to get control of yourself, you’ve died once now and haven’t killed a single person on BLU! Get back out zhere!” The Medics normal calming attitude completely replaced with a new homicidal demeanour.

Shaking you check your arm brace which has somehow been pieced back together, checking your arm next you see no wound at all, the beat of your heart starting to regulate itself. “I died?” You mumble more to yourself than the Medic beside you who’s healing beam has attached itself to your body. “I died but I’m not dead?”

Rolling his eyes the Medic begins to scoff aloud drawing your attention back to him as he gestures towards the door. “Get moving Knight!” You turn to see Demoman running out once again, his body vanishing as quickly as it appeared back into the battle outside.

Taking a long deep breath you focus on the door ahead of you and begin to run outside, your arm raised ready to deploy your shield, bullets and rockets flying through the air from both sides. “Just defend the Intel, just defend.” You remind yourself as the Medic’s beam moves from you and back onto Heavy, his eyes full of a haunting hunger.

Taking up a position on the bridge between yours and the BLU base you deploy your shield, the red Scout taking cover behind you. “Au revoir mon ami.” Turning your head back you see the scout that was behind you is a blue suit wearing Spy his knife ready to strike into your back.

Closing your eyes tight you prepare yourself for a dagger in your back, “Damn spook. Picking on the new guy ain’t classy mate.” Opening one eye you see sniper wiping fresh blood of a long machete, his face hidden as he bows to the corpse. “C’mon mate, time to show them BLU’s what a ‘G’day’ actually means.” Offering a hand to you Mick smiles and helps pull you from the floor, your shield still covering the pair of you. “Head down!”

Without further notice the Sniper pulls out his rifle and fires over the top of your shield reloading in a fluid motion that could rival a river. “Holy shit.” You gape as the corpse of a blue Sniper falls from a lookout point, his gun falling beside him. “You guys do this a lot don’t you?” You turn to ask but by the time you turn no one is to be seen. “Fuck they’re quick!”

After what feels like a lifetime another siren sounds. “Congratulations RED win!” The voice causes both sides to stop firing and return to their respected bases, you’re stood in the respawn room being the final kill of what feels like a living hell.

Stepping out the room you see the rest of your team stripping down their armour and weapons, each member turning to look at you with sceptical eyes. “Here son,” Dell waves at you. “We need to make some large improvements to that shield of yours.” Walking out the locker room you follow the Engineer into his workshop. “Pick a table partner, there’s enough scrap here to make anything perfect.”

Setting your brace onto one of the benches you begin to wonder, “Say Dell, is every day like this? The killing, the dying… the respawns?” Looking up from his table the man sighs.

“Afraid so son, we fight because we were hired to. It’s good money provided we do our job well. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.” Dell took of his hardhat to reveal a balding head with light brown hair, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “Look, this ain’t an easy job but it’s one someone has to do. Now why don’t we fix up your shield a bit to get it ready for the next fight?”

Nodding you expand the shield allowing your teammate to inspect the workings of it, the pair of you spend about an hour discussing options on how to improve its durability and the size of cover it could give without over cumbering you. Eventually you both decide on the use of magnesium based alloy for the exterior of your shield then a steel base to help durability.

Another two hours pass with casual conversations about one another’s history before joining Mann Co. explaining how you were an engineering student in London, working your way through school alone after being orphaned at age six. A shimmering light catches both your eyes as Spy materialises inside the workshop. “Fascinating.” He says calmly before leaving the room.

Following the suited man with uncertain eyes you turn to Dell, “Is he always so… intrusive?” The Engineer nods. “Just fucking great. So I’m guessing he vanishes and reappears whenever and wherever he likes?” Another nod. “Perfect(!)”

Feeling cautious you swing your arms beside you as you walk towards your room, Dell recommending you shower before attempting to make anything to eat for an evening meal. Entering your room you lock the door behind you, eyes dropping to the floor you finally allow the stress of your first real day at RED to come to the surface a flood of emotion and tears streaming down your face. “How are they so fucking calm about this!?”

A clearing of a throat behind you makes you jump, your hands raised defensively as you turn to see Spy casually sitting on the edge of your bed, the plush Koala in his hands. “We have been doing this for over ten years.” Smirking up at you the man holds up the plush to his face. “So tell me, what kind of ‘man’ brings a stuffed toy with him?”

With shaking fists you take a step forward, then another before lunging for your plush toy. “You leave him out of this!” Your hand just missing the toy as Spy grips a hold of your wrist tightly forcing you to your knees. “I’ve had him since before my parents died, it’s a keepsake you damn…” Trying to remember the words Sniper used you blurt out, “Spook!” The masked man laughs obnoxiously down to you and drops the bear beside him back onto the bed.

“Only one person calls me that, you’ve been taking lessons from that bushman. Now while I do not care specifically what you identify as I can assure you that if the others should find out what you really are they won’t be as indifferent.” Releasing your wrist Spy stands and turns to walk away. “Take care not to let your disguise slip, let me know if you need lessons from me next time mon cher.”

Without another word you are left alone in your room, the koala plush lying face down as you reach for him. “He knows Micky…” You whisper into the worn faux fur of him as you squeeze tightly to his small form. “He knows and I couldn’t defend myself.” Lifting your head you glare at the wall beside your bed. “Lessons seem inevitable.”

After an hour of sorting yourself out you pull out a notebook from your suitcase and begin to write out a letter, reading aloud when finished. “Spy, I would like to take you up on your offer of lessons. Despite my better judgement. I’ll be waiting in the training room at eight. Charlie.” Finding this a fitting letter you tear it from the pad and fold into a tight small square being sure to keep it in your palm as you head for the common room.

Drinking from a large bottle of scotch Tavish is busy challenging the Soldier, Scout and Heavy to a drinking contest, Ludwig nowhere to be seen neither do you spot the Spy before a shimmering light appears beside the coffee machine, the suited man pouring himself a cupful. Inhaling to calm yourself you walk towards the masked man and slide the folded sheet of paper towards him.

Without questioning you the man takes it and slips it beneath his cup before leaving the room. Letting out a long breath you seat yourself into one of the couches, head resting against the back as Jeremy hiccups and trips over his own foot, body crashing to the floor and passing out. “Ha! Wee little lad couldn’t knack it this time either!” The Demoman laughing loudly at the passed out boy’s body.

Shaking your head you give a small chuckle at your teams antics, Heavy, Pyro and Demoman now deciding to play a game of cards while Pyro insisting on setting them on fire each time they get a good hand in poker. Medic came into the room to retrieve Scout and take him to his room muttering about how dumb the boy is. Spy coming back for another cup of coffee before disappearing once more, your eyes now focusing on the clock as it begins to near eight in the evening.

Heaving yourself from the couch you walk from the common room and head towards the training room, you decided to take your flintlock with you as you could do with some target practice as well as disguise assistance. Just as you’re about to open the training room door a hand lands on your shoulder making you jolt. “Ah sorry mate, didn’t mean to frighten you. You heading in for some target practice? I didn’t see you fire a single sot today.” Mick took his hold off your shoulder as he spoke, hate and aviators still covering the majority of his face.

“Well I was going to try and get some practice in, but if you need the room then…” Taking a step back you feel a body behind you, your foot landing on something, turning you see it is Spy. “Oh sorry!” Looking down you see you’ve stepped onto the masked man’s shoe. “I am so sorry!” Lifting your foot you begin to turn red. “I didn’t realise you were there! I won’t bother you tonight I’ll just go!”

Before you get chance to leave Spy just shrugs and opens the door, “Nonsense, it is just a shoe mon ami. Now come in, we’ve got work to do. Bushman I’m afraid I’ll be assisting our newest addition this evening. You did help him earlier so now it’s my turn.” Pushing you inside the Spy gives a smug smirk to the Sniper before closing the door.

Just before the door closes you hear Mick mumble, “Fucking sneaky spook, what’s your deal?” Silence occurs once the door is sealed, Spy’s hand still pressed to your back. Tensing as his fingers trail downward, your heart begins to pick up pace.

“Relax mon cher, I am testing your bindings. I assure you I have no intention of sexual deviance with you.” The Spy lets you go and takes a step beside you, eyes going from head to toe. “You can wrap your bindings quite well, your mannerisms a little lacking however. A man here needs to either be brash and loud like Demoman and Scout or reclusive like myself and that bushman.” A small sneer crossing the masked man’s face as he referred to Sniper.

Letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding you look to the Spy, “Miss Pauling suggested reclusiveness for practical reasons.” The man nods as though agreeing. “Plus I’m not sure I could match the enthusiasm of Tavish or Jeremy…” Another nod, more agreeing. “How do you stay so reclusive?”

A wide smirk. “Ah ma petit cher fluer, if I told you that I wouldn’t be a good spy.” A step away from you and the masked man gives you another look. “I would consider requesting larger clothes, the tight ones hug the curve of your figure too much. Hips of a man are not as wide as those of a woman.” You nod and take out your notepad to make some memos for later. “Also as you probably guessed by now we kill people almost daily, so get over those emotions of regret and fear as soon as you are capable. That display of emotion, despite being in your room, will cause you problems.”

“Alright, no emotion. Everyone respawns anyway right?” The Spy nods. “Then it shouldn’t be a problem and I’m sure clothes aren’t too difficult to obtain. I’ll take your advice to heart.”

With a smile Spy presses a button on a control pad and a series of targets appear on the opposite side of the room. “Now as you brought your weapon let’s get some target practice done, don’t want to waste a private session with the most elusive man here do you?” A smug grin spreads over the man’s face as you nod.

After twenty minutes of firing and missing you feel a hand cover yours, Spy slowly raising your aim, the sight of your gun now more even with what you’re hoping to hit. “Spy?” No response, deciding the best thing to do right now is to pull the trigger you fire, the bullet barely graving the target at the back of the room. “I hit it!”

Coming in closer to you the Spy sighed and leaned down to your ear, “You barely hit it mon cher.” Pulling your hands up again the man readies your gun, this time his head beside yours as one of his fingers joins yours on the trigger. “Take a breath, hold it and fire again.”

Inhaling slowly you hold your breath, the sound of a door opening and closing behind you barely noticeable as you pull the trigger, the bullet once again missing it’s mark, in frustration you growl, the Spy now far away from you as you go to throw your gun at the floor. “Easy now mate! I didn’t trust the spook in a room with just you and a gun but it’s the gun I’m worried for now.” Sniper grabs a hold of your hand before it can let go of the weapon. “It ain’t the guns fault you got bad aim.”

Rolling his eyes Spy presses the button on the control pad again allowing the targets to disappear. “I think Charlie has had enough for one day bushman.” The pair of men now glaring at one another. “Besides he has come a lot further than where he was at the start of this.”

“And why the hell are you helping him? You’re a master of deceit not shooting.” Mick now letting go of you to square up to the masked man. “If anyone should be giving lessons on aiming it’s me you damn sneaky bastard.”

Feeling the tension rise you step between the men, “Please don’t argue over something like this! I can take lessons from anyone, you’re all better shots than me right now!” Both men turned to face you, neither wanting to back down. “How about you teach me tomorrow Mick?” The Sniper raised a brow before agreeing with a grunt and leaving the room. “Phew… What’s your deal with each other?”

The Spy shrugged and sparked a cigarette up, “We just hate one another. Someone who never leaves his nest and someone who is always on the move. We don’t see eye to eye.” Taking a long drag of the burning stick the masked man exhaled loudly. “He is right though, he is the best gunman we have for precision.”

Putting your pistol away you dust the gunpowder from your hands into your trousers and straighten yourself up. “Well I appreciate what you’ve done for me so let me give you something in return?” You ask the Spy, who just gives you a quizzical look. “What’s your favourite meal? If I’m going to become this team’s cook I may as well make good use of it.”

With a soft chuckle Spy nodded, “What I wouldn’t give for a decent duck confit.” His eyes glance to you before turning to the door. “If you can make that I’ll consider giving you more lessons.” Without a look back the man left the room leaving you alone to consider how the hell you would cook a duck confit.

Walking back to your room the muscles in your arms and legs now beginning to ache from a full and difficult first day you stretch as you move. “Ah! Charlie could I have a vord for one moment?” Ludwig catches you as you turn a corner, his white coat slightly stained with blood from the day’s events. “I vish to discuss your mental health after today. Zhe first day can be… trying.”

Shrugging you see no harm in following the doctor to his medical lab, taking a seat on one of the chairs inside the room. “I was a little shaken by it but we respawn each time so there isn’t much I can’t handle now Ludwig, though your personality changes are something to be understood.”

“Forgive me, when the adrenaline starts flowing, I just vant to kill everyzhing. I hope I did not scare you?” You shake your head and smile at the concerned Medic. “Good! If you ever need somezhing do not feel scared to come to me. I can help vith most zhings.” Taking out a book Ludwig hums to himself, “Oh you may go now, I only needed to check your mental health. Unless you viwsh to discuss something?”

Shaking your head you get up out the chair. “I’m good thank you Ludwig.” Leaving the medical lab you finally are able to get back to your room, locking the door then checking the room entirely before stripping out of your clothes, your bindings falling to the ground as you check in the mirror for any signs of damage from the battle today. Not a single mark left upon your body however can be seen. “That respawn is really something.” You whisper to no one before climbing into your shower, warm water spreading over your skin soothing each muscle into a relaxed state.

Once clean and relaxed you leave the bathroom and get into your baggy pyjamas, grabbing onto Micky tightly as you lay on your side. Your eyes slowly closing as time passes until a soft darkness overcomes your mind and you fall into a state of sleep.


	3. Target Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> I want to take a quick second to thank everyone who is reading this!  
> I've loved TF2 for a long time so having people read my nonsense helps me write more!  
> This chapter does have a little bit of spice for y'all so enjoy it!  
> JD

Waking up to another series of loud obnoxious bangs to your door and Soldier’s incessant yelling you stretch and wonder over to your bathroom, stripping from your pyjamas you climb into your shower and begin to wash your body in the barely warm water. “Another early start to another long day.” You sigh softly rubbing a mild smelling soap across your skin before rinsing and getting out thestream of water, turning it off behind you.

 

Wrapping a fresh set of binding around your chest you prepare yourself for a busy day, once fully dressed you leave your room, making way towards the common room. Opening the door you find it full with your team mates, Jeremy arguing over something with the Spy while Misha and Ludwig are drinking coffee with Soldier, who isn’t drinking coffee but milk, Tavish and Dell. Scanning the room you notice Mick stood with a full pot of freshly made coffee in one hand and the ‘#1 Sniper’ mug in the other before he walks past you with a nod leaving the room.

 

Shrugging you walk over to your team and help yourself to the hot water, looking through the cupboards to find any traces of tea. “We don’t drink much tea here Charlie.” Dell pipes up as he brings his own dirty mug to the sink. “Coffee or beer round ‘ere mostly.”

 

Lowering your head with a grunt you grab a clean mug and reach into one of the drawers for a tea spoon. Using your spoon you scoop a small pile of coffee granules and tip it directly into your mug, followed by six sugars to help cover the bitter taste. Grabbing the hot water you pour it slowly into your mug not noticing the barrage of strange looks from your team. Mixing the dark hot fluid you turn to find four pairs of eyes staring at you. “Aye! Good ol’ English way of making hot drinks!” Tavish yelled from across the room raising his own mug in recognition.

 

“What?” Baffled by the estranged looks from the others you begin to blush. “It’s normal in England to make tea or coffee directly in the mug, using a pot is… American.” Soldier hearing this puffed up his chest and began to stomp towards you. “Not that it’s a bad thing!” You quickly spout, “I’m just in the habit of making one at a time!”

 

Stopping just short of a foot from you the Soldier peered down below his helmet directly into your eyes. “America is a proud Country! You will do well to remember where you are maggot!” His piercing eyes and mean snarl causes you to shrink away slightly shielding your mug from his aggressive stance as you nod insistently.

 

Feeling that his point had been made the Soldier steps back from you as you scurry from the room, black coffee in hand. “Damn it I forgot the milk. I can’t go back in there now though…” Sighing in defeat you accept that this morning you’ll have to drink this bitter liquid with only sugar as an attempt to disguise the taste.

 

After an hour of morning routine the usual siren rang throughout the red base, this time you were quicker in preparing yourself for the battle ahead. You loaded up your flintlock hitching it to your waist, shield readied onto your arm and sword sheathed to your left side. “You seem better prepared today Charlie! I hope your lessons with that Spy pay off!” Jeremy grinning widely at you begins to jog on the spot. “Though you’ll need stamina too if you wanna get anywhere!”

 

Readying up with the rest of your team you notice the empty jar attatched to Snipers hip, then the pot of coffee from this morning just next to it. Unsure of what to say you choose to stay silent as the siren sounds again. “The match will begin in ten seconds!”

 

After the allotted time the large door begins to open with Scout and Demoman both careening out of the spawn room Medic attaching himself to Heavy as they make their way from the room. Engineer making his way into the Intel room with you following just to give him some support should he need it.

 

After thirty minutes and having the Intel room completely protected you decided to venture outside once more, shield away as you pull out your pistol, holding it steady as you run up the ramps when the BLU Scout comes barrelling down towards you, taking aim you go to fire.

 

BLACK.

 

In a flash of white you wake up and growl in frustration at being killed before being able to even fire your gun once. Without another thought you run out of the respawn room and go to make your way back to the Intel room when the BLU Scout runs past carrying your own Intel on his back a smirk grin on his face as he runs past you. “Get back here!” You scream as you aim your gun at him.

 

After firing you realise the bullet missed, hitting instead the wall beside scout as he turns the corner to run over the bridge connecting both bases. After a minute of trying to find the enemy a voice shouts in your ear. “The enemy has captured our Intelligence!” The sound of the woman is angry, kicking at the floor you shake it off and run down towards the bridge yourself.

 

“Deploying shield!” You scream as a barrage of heavy bullets from the BLU Heavy comes towards you, your shield expanding quicker than before to hide your body, the RED Scout coming up behind you and jumped over.

 

Looking down at you Jeremy scowls “I watched you lose our Intel Charlie! Get your head in the game!” His speedy hands switched from a gun to a jar of milk which he throws over the BLU Heavy covering him in a layer of white before a bullet gets fired directly between his eyes and the body falls onto the bridge. “Nice shot Snipes!” The Scout shouts as he keeps running forward.

 

Keeping yourself behind your shield you slowly move forward, a blasting sound landing just in front of you as a rocket crashes into the ground throwing both you and your shield to the floor. “A new maggot on RED? Let’s see what colour they bleed!” The BLU Soldier towering over you smirks as he aims a rocket launcher directly into your face before pulling the trigger, the last thing you see is a flash of light before you instinctively close your eyes.

 

BLACK.

 

Grunting as you open your eyes to the respawn room for a second time you glare at the door opposite you. “Stupid fucking BLU, stupid fucking Intel.” You grumble as you walk forward only to jump when the room flashes white again, turning you see Mick standing there his face hidden. “Uh Mick?”

 

Looking up slightly the Sniper nods to you before walking out, his hand clutching tightly to the Kukri in his hand, anger radiating from him as he walks past you. “Fucking Spook is dead.” You make out before he leaves the respawn.

 

Walking out you come face to face with the BLU Medic his eyes looking around as the exploded body of the person he was healing falls to the floor. “Scheisse!” Making direct eye contact with you the man begins to run away, pulling out your sword you run after him taking a swing at his back, slicing about two inches into his spine as he falls forward. Just as you’re about to stab downward the BLU Medic turns to face you with a wicked grin. “Dummkopf.”

 

Jumping back you see the BLU Demoman charging directly at you as their Medic gains his poise and begins to heal the man now swinging a sword at your head. In a panic you jump back and begin to flee, the sound of maniacal laughter directly behind you until it stops. Risking a glance you see the RED Spy wiping blood from his knife before winking and disappearing again.

 

Deciding to head back into the Intel room you see Dell struggling with his Sentry which explodes just as he is about to hit it. “There’s a Spy ‘round ‘ere!” He shouts at you, pulling out your Flintlock you scan the room for any movement or sign of a Spy before the RED Engineer screams out in pain and his body falls to the floor, the BLU Spy standing there with an evil smile. “Bonjour again new RED.”

 

Holding tightly to your pistol you aim it up to the Spy’s face and fire, eyes clenched shut tightly until you hear the sound of abody hitting the floor. Opening your eyes you now see the body of the BLU Spy laying lifeless next to Dell’s before they both disappear, taken by the respawn. “I killed someone?” Taking a deep breath you smile “I killed someone!”

 

In the midst of your celebration you see the RED Scout run past with a briefcase on his back. “Nicely done Charlie! Keep this up and we’re gonna win big time, gosh the Administrator is gonna be happy with two wins in a row!” His eager body drops the Intel then races off again leaving you alone in the room. Before you get a chance to come down from your high you turn to leave the room but come face to face with the BLU Demoman, his stickies placed around the wall just as you reach it.

 

BLACK.

 

Opening your eyes you see you are now in the respawn for a third time in this match, anger slightly lessened this time however thanks to your previous kill. “The enemy has captured our Intelligence!” The Administrator shouted throughout the base and your heart sank.

 

“That’s two for them and two for us now.” The RED Medic states as he walks through the respawn, this is a close match. “I hope Scout’s legs and Pyro’s fire can win this match.” He attaches his healing beam onto you then gestures for you to leave. “I’ll follow you.”

 

Doing as told you exit the room with Medic in toe as you both head for the BLU base, crossing the bridge you deploy your shield as Ludwig uses his crossbow to fire at approaching enemies. After another hour the Administrator sounds the siren, “Congratulations RED win!”

 

Walking back into your own base you roll your shoulders, the weight of carrying the shield now starting to get to you. “That was too close maggots!” Soldier shouted his large fist coming down onto a table in the armoury.

 

Departing from your team you decided to get back into your room and shower before joining the rest of them for an evening meal. Micky sat in the middle of your pillow as you walk in, smiling at him you enter your bathroom and begin to undress. Turning on your shower you unbind your chest letting the wraps lay on your sinks’ edge before climbing into the warm flow of water.

 

Relaxing you decided to take a minute to have some self-care, fingertips gently brushing over your nipples as they harden, the sensitive nubs slippery as you begin to pinch at them, a soft moan escaping your lips. Moving your left hand lower you rub your palm over the slight curve of your abdomen, fingers now pressing to the top of your labia.

 

Inhaling through you nose you use your forefinger and ring finger to spread your labia open while your middle finger slides downward over your clit, its’ tip gently circling the bundle of nerves. With slightly heavier breathing you twist your right nipple while you’re left middle finger pressing down harder onto your clit, still continuing its circling motion.

 

Panting softly you switch nipples with your right hand, now deciding to pinch and twist your left one. Your left hand sliding lower until your middle and ring finger touch your wet entrance, the tips pressing inward gently. “Just a little more…” You pant out as your two fingers slide inside of yourself, the tips pressing against your walls as you pump them within.

 

Biting your bottom lip you feel the familiar pleasure spreading throughout your core, left hand pumping harder as you race towards your orgasm. “Please…” You whimper as you almost tip over the edge when a flash of someone’s face appears in your mind just as you climax, hard panting breaths taken as you work yourself down from your orgasmic high. “Holy fuck…” A dark red blush streaks across your face as you wash yourself clean. “Why did I think of Mick?!”

 

Once you’re satisfied with the level of clean your body is you exit the shower and dry yourself off, hands reaching for your wraps to bind around your steady chest. Once dressed again you head for the common room, opening the door slowly to check for a certain Sniper feeling shame flood up your spine until you realise he isn’t inside the room at all. Sighing with relief you walk in and sit next to Ludwig.

 

“Ah Charlie, vould you like Misha to deal you in?” The Medic asks as he places his poker cards face down onto the table, you shake your head. “Very vell.” Lifting his hand again Ludwig just smiles calmly. “How did you find today’s mission?”

 

Shrugging you just smile, “It was alright. I killed the BLU Spy then died thanks to their Demoman.” Angry with yourself you lowered your head. “I also let the Scout get away with our Intel.”

 

Jeremy jumps over the couch and nudges you with his elbow, “Eh don’t worry about it man! We all let someone slip by some time. Not like you purposely did it either, we all try our damn hardest!” With a wide grin the Scout placed his hand on your head and attempted to ruffle your shaven hair.

 

A couple of hours pass and the team decide it’s time to test your cooking skills, Dell had gone off site into the town of Tuefort to get some last minute groceries. “It ain’t much but it’ll cook enough for all ten of us.” The hardhat wearing man said as he placed a crate of vegetables onto the kitchen counter and a large cut of pork.

 

Standing beside the counter you think about what you could do and decide to roast the pork with boiled potatoes and vegetables. “It’ll take about an hour and a half so everyone out while I work!” You turn to the team whose faces all look surprised. “I cook in silence or it goes wrong. Everyone out!” Clapping your hands the men, while reluctant, leave the room.

 

While you’re peeling the potatoes to be boiled you begin to hum a soft tune, one that you remember from your childhood, I’m a Big Girl Now by Sammy Kaye. You remember how your mother would spin you around while singing it for you. “Da da daa da.” You sing aloud while you sway your hips to the tune inside your head.

 

“Keep rotating like that mon cher and someone will ask questions.” The Spy said calmly as he lit a cigarette, your body freezing at the sound of the other voice. “I know you asked everyone to leave but I thought I’d stay just in case you did something,” He paused to inhale on his cigarette, “like this.”

 

Folding your arms you sigh, “I get it, I’m not going to be able to convince everyone to leave each time I cook.” Returning to your task you turn off the potatoes and turn down the heat on the pork. “Besides it’ll be done soon.” Reaching into the cupboards you pull out a selection of plates and cutlery. “Could you get the others?”

 

Placing the pork roast onto the largest plate you leave a sharp knife beside it to let the others carve up their portion and a few bowls filled with varying vegetables and the potatoes. “Food looks good small man.” Misha said proudly patting your shoulder. “You did good job.”

 

As the rest of the RED team filtered in you noticed than Mick hadn’t ever come into the room, eating your portion with the others you watch how all their faces light up after every bite, their happiness pouring into your heart as they complement your cooking and beg for you to do more.

 

Once the others had finished you went to grab some of the dirtied plates when Demoman grabbed your wrist. “Leave it to us lad, least we can do for y’. Take some over to Snipers nest.” Letting you go you swallow and nod grabbing the last clean plate and adding a few slices of meat with potatoes vegetables to accompany it.

 

Carrying the plate carefully you head outside the base toward Snipers camper, the door closed as you approach. “Mick?” You ask cautiously remembering how he took to your approach the day you arrived. Being met with silence you use your free hand to knock lightly on the camper door. When no one answered you tested the handle to find it unlocked.

 

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you mate.” Mick says calmly from behind you, making you freeze and jolt. “I was just letting Sir Hootsalot out for the night.” He points upward where you see an owl flying overhead. “What’s this?” The Sniper asks bringing your attention back to the food you’re carrying.

 

Shaking your head you smile and hold the plate up, “Dell got some groceries while we wait for our food ration orders from Tuefort, you didn’t join the rest of us so I brought you some!” Allowing Mick to take the plate offered to him you blush lightly when his fingers touch yours. “I cooked it myself so let me know how you like it.”

 

Looking down at you over the top of his aviators Sniper cocked a brow, “You made this? Well smells decent enough, ain’t no croc jerky though mate.” Using his finger and thumb Mick picks up a boiled piece of carrot and throws into his mouth. “Nah ain’t too bad at all Roo. Nice job.” Stepping aside the taller man walks around you to his camper. “I’ll wash it in here then take it back in the ‘morrow.”

 

With the door shutting before you could say another word you feel your legs start to shake, “He likes my cooking.” You mumble happily to yourself as you turn to leave, but before you get more than ten paces from the camper the door opens once again, the Sniper leaning out.

 

“I still owe you target practice tonight, come back in an hour alright Roo?” He asks as you nod before disappearing back inside his mysterious camper. The sun had already began setting when you were heading to the man’s van but curious you intend to meet with the Sniper and see what his lessons compared to the Spy’s will involve.

 

Back inside the common room you see a clean pile of dishes stacked neatly on one side of the kitchen counter and the plate of leftover meat being placed into the fridge by Misha, his large hands almost masking the plate he’s holding. “Yo Charlie!” Jeremy beckoned from across the room, “You’re a pretty good cook man! You can definitely be our chef from now on!” His wide grin almost blinding with how happy he was at having a decent home cooked meal.

 

Smiling you head over to sit with Jeremy and Tavish, the space left on the couch just big enough for you to fit. “I’m glad you allenjoyed it, it’s been a while since I cooked for other people so I was a little worried.” Chuckling softly you lean back into the couch, your arms placed upon your lap.

 

“Nah it was good lad! Has been a long time since a decent meal, last person who cooked was Ludwig and his meats were… questionable.” Tavish joked nudging you with his elbow as he laughed.

 

Pyro crawled over to the couch a little later, his masked head now resting against your knee and he played with a balloon unicorn. “Mmmph mmm!” He squeaked as he showed the toy to you.

 

Scout sighed, “It’s their Ballonicorn, carries it everywhere. Seems to make them happy which is good for us, last time it got lost they nearly burned down the entire damn base!” The young man glared at the masked Pyro, his wrapped hands tensing.

 

Pushing the Ballonicorn into your hands the Pyro stood up and then grabbed your arm beginning to pull. “Mmmppph mmm mhpppph” Not sure what they said you decide to follow them, still holding onto the toy you were given.

 

Leading you down one of the halls Pyro brings you to their room where a series of plush toys and balloons. “MMMMPH!” Jumping into a pile of pillows the Pyro began to roll around in the soft comforters. Laughing you watch as the masked being sits up and offers you one of their large Ballonicorn plushes.

 

You shake your head and smile, “No it’s okay Pyro. I have my own, I can’t take one of yours.” This seemed to peek the Pyro’s interest as they dropped the plush and bolted up, masked head tilting side to side quickly like a curious puppy. “You want to see?” You watch as the pyro nods excitedly.

 

Leading the way you and Pyro head for your room, the door opening as you smile, “He’s just in here, on my bed.” Nervously you let Pyro past you and watch as they cautiously make their way over to where Micky is resting on your pillow.

 

Patting the Koala’s head gently the Pyro turns to look at you. “Mmmph, mmm mmmmph mmh.” Unsure of what they said you just smile at the Pyro as they lift the Koala from your pillow and gently squeeze it.

 

“Be gentle with him, he is very old. His name is Micky.” You smile as the Pyro gently places the Koala back to his original spot. “My parents took a trip and this was the only thing they sent back to me before they passed away so he goes everywhere with me.”

 

Nodding the Pyro walks over to you and gives you a gentle hug before walking past and waving as they leave your room, the sound of boots echoing down the hall until silence filled the air. Taking a quick glance at the clock you see it’s about time to get back over to Snipers camper.

 

Walking out of your base you see the camper, a single light emitting from it as the sun has now fully set over the horizon. Upon your approach you see Sir Hootsalot perched atop the vehicle, his beak gently preening his feathers. “Hey there, who’s a pretty bird?” You smile up at the owl, who turns his head slightly to notice your approach before returning to clean himself.

 

Knocking on the camper door you wait for it to open, Sniper looking down at you from inside, “Right on time Roo. Hope you’re ready for some intense training.” Smirking the man grabs his rifle from inside the camper and exits it, gesturing for you to follow him.

 

On the other side of the camper van you see a series of empty mason jars lined up at varying distances. “We’re shooting jars?” You ask as Mick nods, he stops and begins to prepare his rifle. “Won’t the shards of glass be an issue later?”

 

Looking over his shoulder at you Mick smiles, “Don’t worry, you’ll be clearing them up after, if you manage to hit something.” Finishing his set up Mick turns and passes you his rifle. “Here, let me see you aim.”

 

Holding onto the riffle you lift it to aim, your hands shaking a little as you try to ready the weapon. “Like this right?” Looking through the scope you focus on one of the glass jars as two large hands come upon yours, the fingers gently adjusting your grip.

 

“Don’t hold it so stiffly, you’ll only cause yourself injury like that.” Holding onto your hands Mick leans down to follow your line of sight, his cheek a few centimetres from yours as he exhales, the smell of coffee and stale smoke lingering as he whispers. “Fire.”

 

Inhaling the Snipers scent you hold your breath and fire a single shot, the bullet exploding from the gun as it kicks back at your body, the bullet whistling through the air and hitting the ground inches from your intended target. “Holy shit… This gun packs a punch!”

 

With a soft chuckle Mick lets go of you and stands up straight, “Well yeah, did you think I was playing games here Roo?” his glasses slightly skewed from having leaned so close to you, your eyes locking onto his when you notice their grey-blue colour. “Now reload and try again.”

 

Shaking your head loose as a warm blush creeps along your cheeks, using one hand you quickly reload the sniper rifle and aim it again, grip loosened like Mick showed you as you take a less pleasing inhale. “Okay, one-hundred yard target.” Looking through the scope you get the crosshair over the jar and fire. Stilling missing your target you exhale in a huff. “How can this be so hard?! It should be a straight line!”

 

Rolling his eyes the Sniper kicked the back of your leg lightly, “You’re forgetting about environmental factors mate. Wind, slightly changes of temperature from here to there. Not to mention you keep shaking like a leaf before every shot.” Gesturing to the jars he smiles, “Again.”.

 

For several minutes you and Mick go through the rounds of fire, miss, reload, fire, miss, reload. Soon your mind begins to get frustrated with not making any progress and a moonlit sky looms above the pair of you. “Damn it Mick I can’t get anywhere in this darkness! How am I supposed to see my targets?”

 

Placing a hand on your shoulder the Sniper gives a light squeeze, “Predict. I can’t see where my targets are twenty-four-seven, you have to predict where they’ll be.” He gave a small laugh. “You have the benefit of your targets not moving though!”

 

Pouting you reloaded the sniper once again and try to focus on the closest jar, being the easiest to see you inhale taking aim and exhaling as you pull the trigger. The sound of shattering glass making you jump and drop the rifle from your hands with a small squeak escaping your throat. “I-I shot it?”

 

With a loud laugh Mick slapped one of his large hands across your lower back and smiled at your, “You did Roo but you’ve got to work on holding your nerve!” Leaning down to pick up his rifle the Sniper used a hand to dust of some of the sand. “Now that you’ve actually hit something I think it’s time we clean up.”

 

Folding your arms you glare into the darkness, “And how, pray tell, do I clean up shards of broken glass in the dark?” You scrunch up your nose in attempt to look angry as the taller man just looks down at you.

 

“I’ll grab my flashlight mate, relax would you? The way you’re pouting is making your cheeks puff out like a koala.” Mick jokes as he turns towards his camper, the sound of his boots going from sand to metal the only indication of how far his camper was away from your little training arena.

 

Feeling a heat flare up in your cheeks you cover your face with both hands and mumble into your palms. “I look like a koala to him? What the hell Mick?” Thinking back to your earlier enjoyment in the shower you now have images of him  teasing you with this new nickname and your face grows hotter, the sound of a door opening behind you more than enough for you to begin darting back to the base and leaving Sniper far behind you.

 

“Oi Roo! I ain’t cleaning this up for you!” You hear the Sniper shout angrily behind you but your heart is racing too much for you to care, the sooner you get away from the ridiculously tall and lanky Australian the better.

 

Diving through your bedroom’s door you slam it shut behind you and lock it tight, heart still pounding as you pant for breath, face red from running instead of embarrassment. “Okay… breath Charlie.” You whisper as you begin to settle yourself down. Stepping away from the door you sigh heavily then groan. “I ran like a fucking child.” Slumping your way over to your bed you grab a hold of Micky and curl up with him, eyes shut tight. “I ran from him.”

 

Despite the adrenaline you manage to fall into a sleep quickly, your last thought that night of how Mick held onto your hands and whispered into your ear.


	4. You Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys!  
> Writers block is a bitch T^T  
> I hope you enjoy this addition!

Waking up you feel gross, you slept in your uniform without realising it and instantly regret wearing your bindings to sleep, the dull ache in your chest and back  thrumming in time with each movement you make. “I am never doing that again…” You groan as you sit up in your bed, Micky sat on your pillow as you stand.

 

Walking to your bathroom you begin your daily routine, once cleaned and dried you begrudgingly bind your chest anew, the binds a little looser than normal to help prevent further damage to your lungs and back.

 

Making your way to the common room you sit on the couch, head back against it as you sigh, Jeremy coming charging in full of energy. “Morning Charlie! Damn you look knackered! Sniper keep you up all night or what?” The young man laughed as he sat on the couch next to you.

 

Rolling your eyes you ignore the Scout’s antics and instead choose to focus on the smell of brewing coffee, looking over your shoulder you see Ludwig preparing the pot with four mugs set on the counter. Looking around the room you see there is only yourself, Scout and Ludwig currently present.

 

Before you could ask the Medic looks to you and smiles, “Soldier takes his mug of coffee in his room before vaking everyone else up. I’m surprised to see you up before him, did you not sleep vell?” You shrug and give a slight smile. “I see, vell good zhing one of zhese is for you, Ja?”

 

With a more genuine smile you stand up and walk to the counter, “Thank you, I appreciate it.” Opening the cupboard you get out the sugar, then heading over to the fridge you retrieve the milk.

 

“Ah! Not the glass bottle!” Scout says as he jumps over the couch and snatches the bottle of milk away from you. “That’s for me to throw at them BLU’s later!” His smug grin wide across his face as he puts the glass jar of milk back and pulls out a carton of milk instead. “Here we use this for coffee.”

 

Taking the carton you sniff the opening and grimace, “This milk is rancid! How long has it been in there open?” You look at Ludwig who shrugs, then you turn to Jeremy who takes the carton to sniff it himself.

 

Without a second the thought the young man puts the carton to his lips and begins to swallow the contents, pulling it away he gasps, “Nah tastes fine!” Jeremy passes you back the carton and returns to the couch.

 

Still sceptical you decide against using the milk and simply put it back into the fridge, turning back to Ludwig who is now pouring the coffee into each mug. “Thanks for this Ludwig, coffee may not taste great but it’ll help wake me up.” Taking one of the muds you add six sugars and stir the fluid.

 

Raising a brow the Medic sighs, “All zhat sugar is bad for you.” Picking up his own mug and an additional one the man turns to face you.

 

“Coffee tastes like ass but until I get some tea it’s the only thing I can use to wake myself up.” You state indifferently before walking back over to the couch with your mug in hand. Sitting down you glance over to Jeremy who is sitting quietly reading a comic book.

 

Sipping your coffee slowly as it cools you watch as the common room fills with the rest of your team mates until all ten of you are present. Medic stood talking with Heavy and Soldier while Spy was arguing with Scout over something once again then finally Sniper, Pyro, Engineer and Demo are all helping themselves to a fresh pot of coffee.

 

The morning felt a lot tenser than the previous ones, all eyes darting around the room in scepticism. Soon after everyone had finished their coffee you notice Sniper glancing your way before leaving, a clear scowl on his features. Feeling guilty you bow your head down to finish the remainder of your coffee, the room buzzing around you.

 

After an hour of the world moving around you the usual siren blasts through the base, The Administrators’ voice echoing throughout the building as you head to the armoury to prepare for the day ahead of you. Once you’ve laced up your boots you grab your weapons, reading your shield brace for the battle to come when Sniper walks past you, hat lowered covering his face as he reaches for his rifle, a few scratches along his palm, their fine red lines adding to your guilt.

 

Once the team is ready you all wait for The Administrator to give the signal for the battle to begin, your eyes taking sideways glances to Sniper every so often trying to watch for any sign of a chance to start a conversation and eventually for you to apologise.

 

With a loud siren the door opens as the whole team rushes through it, holding onto your pistol you rush forward and begin heading towards the bridge. It’s not long before you see a group of the BLU team running towards you, their Heavy and Medic connected by a charging beam while Scout attempts to jump over your head to which you point your gun upward and fire into the man.

 

Once the BLU Scout is out of range you turn and deploy your shield to protect against the barrage of charged bullets gunning for your body, the sound of metal clashing surrounding your head. “Incoming!” You hear a yell as Demoman jumps over your shield firing a series of red pills down the bridge.

 

The following explosions sending body parts everywhere around you, some bouncing off your shield just before it shrinks back down into your bracer. “Thanks for that Demoman!” You shout as the Scottish man runs forward storming into the BLU base, turning you head back into your own base to chase down the BLU Scout who got past you.

 

Just as you reach the entrance to the spiral leading down to your Intel room the sound of The Administrators voice sounds throughout the base. “The enemy has taken your intelligence!”

 

Growling you run down the spiral in the hopes of blocking the BLU Scout’s escape, when you reach the bottom of the spiral you realise the enemy took the alternate escape route, “Damn it! Went the other fucking way!” Turning on the spot you make to head back up the spiral when a rocket comes blasting towards your face.

 

BLACK

 

Standing in respawn you hear The Administrator speak “The enemy has captured your intelligence.” Then after a few more seconds “The enemy has taken your intelligence.” Feeling a rage boil up in your stomach you race out of spawn and stand ready to block whoever had taken your Intel.

 

Watching and listening you hear the war-cry of a Soldier coming across the straight path to the Intel room, turning your head you see a flash of BLU as the Soldier disappears beneath your base. Following you bring up your pistol, taking pot shots at the man running from you.

 

Missing every shot you hear the BLU Soldier laugh as he rocket jumps away over the bridge leaving you far behind as he disappears into BLU base. Stopping on the middle of the bridge you waited for any enemies that may approach you, then as if on cue the BLU Engineer jumps down from the base carrying one of his metal boxes, dropping it at the base of the bridge where it opens to reveal a mini-sentry.

 

Deploying your shield you kneel onto the wooden floor of the bridge as a barrage of bullets from the mini-sentry comes towards you, the BLU Engineer using his pistol to aid in the firing. “The enemy has captured your intelligence.” You hear as your shield begins to fail.

 

Watching your shield vanish back into your bracer you glance upward as more bullets come hurtling towards you, the sound of metal careening past your head until some hit your flesh.

 

BLACK

 

Opening your eyes in respawn once again you sigh, deciding to head towards your Intel room in in the hopes to add some defence when you see the BLU Heavy and Medic running into the room as the minigun begins to spin firing bullets into your team’s sentry as it blows up into a blast of smoke and metal shards, Dell trying to fight back until a bullet lands itself between his breast bone, his now lifeless body falling to the floor.

 

Taking out your sword you run at the BLU Medic in an attempt to stop them from stealing your intelligence once again. “You have taken the enemy intelligence.” The Administrator announces as both BLU team members turn to face you.

 

As you swing your sword you watch as the BLU Medic activates his ubercharge covering both himself and the BLU Heavy into a shining blue, invincible force. Your sword bouncing off the BLU Medic’s body with no signs of damage, the BLU Heavy spinning up his minigun as bullets speed towards you.

 

BLACK

 

Angry at yourself for another failed attempt at protecting your Intelligence you pull out your pistol and rage out into the battle field, firing aimlessly into any and all people you see wearing Blue, grunting as you run through the battlefield. “I won’t fucking die again!” You scream as you shoot towards the back of the BLU Heavy who was now running unaided by a Medic.

 

Panting as you run you try to take aim at the BLU Heavy’s head, firing a single bullet which just skims past one of his ears, biting your bottom lip you stop running, taking a deep inhale to steady yourself then pulling up the pistol again you fire, this time the bullet directly into the back of the BLU Heavy’s skull.

 

“The enemy has dropped your intelligence!” The Administrator voice echoes as the body before you falls to the floor on the wooden bridge connecting both the RED and BLU bases.

 

With an excited smirk you run up to your Intelligence and deploy your shield as more BLU mercenaries try to once again steal the RED briefcase. A large sword from the BLU Demoman swinging down onto your shield with a loud clash as the BLU Scout tries to circle around only to have a bullet shot into his head, his body falling beside you.

 

Turning back slightly you see Sniper waving down at you from his nest but before you can wave back the BLU Spy appears in your line of view and pulls out his knife. “Nice try mon ami.” He says before lunging his blade towards you.

 

BLACK

 

With a long sigh you walk out of the respawn room only to hear the Administrator shout “YOU LOSE!” Kicking at the floor you lower your head in frustration as the rest of your team returns to the RED base.

 

Glancing up you see all the angered faces of your teammates as they stalk past you, some mumbling about the loss until Soldier stands directly in front of you. “What kind of performance was that maggot!?” He screams down at you as he leans forward, his helmet hiding his face though his disappointment is clear.

 

Tightening your fists you prepare to argue back when Mick turns the corner, “Hey easy mate, little Roo did his best defending. It was that damn BLU spook that did him in.” Walking past the Sniper didn’t spare you a second glance as Soldier backed off, marching into the base himself.

 

Alone you walk slowly into the base, head hung as you make way directly into your room. “Stupid fucking BLU, stupid fucking Intelligence. What is even in those briefcases?!” You mutter as you stalk down the corridor.

 

“Those briefcases contain information on all of us” Spy says as he materialises beside your bedroom door. “Which means they now have a complete file on you and who you really are.” His tone turning to a whisper at the end as you turn the handle to enter your room.

 

Slamming the door shut you stare at Spy, “So now what? They’ll rat me out and I lose my job?” Folding your arms you growl angrily at nothing and everything.

 

Lighting up a cigarette the Spy shakes his head, “Non. They’ll try to get into your head with this information, blackmail you also.” Inhaling then exhaling the Spy stood thinking, “Perhaps though this would be a good time to come clean to Ludwig, he may be able to help you.”

 

Pacing over to your bed you pick up Micky and squeeze him close to your chest, fingers clutching tightly to his small plush body, “What have I got to lose hey Micky?” With a sigh you nod, “Ludwig it is, but if he tries to use this as an excuse to ‘examine’ me I will not be happy!”

 

Spy chuckles as your cheeks turn a pale pink, smoke exhaled through his nose, “Be sure not to sign any weird contracts or take anything he tries to give you then.” Opening your door for you the Spy smiles, “Now go see our good doctor.”

 

Leaving quickly you head towards the medical bay inside the base, walls turning from wooden red to a more pristine white as you reach two large metal doors, giving a light knock you await a response, “Enter!” Comes Medic’s voice as you slowly open one of the doors, the man before you wearing his battle attire minus the long coat, arms stained with blood. “Ah Charlie! Vhat brings you by? Are you injured?”

 

Shutting the door you shake your head, “No I am perfectly well, just wish to confide in you about something. If you’re alone in here?” Glancing around the operating room you see no trace of any of the other mercenaries.

 

“Ve are alone, vhat appears to be the issue, please sit.” Ludwig gestures to his operating table which you walk over to but do not sit upon. “Is zhis a medical issue? I can perhaps prescribe you somezhing?”

 

Another shake of your head, “No honestly, my health is just fine Ludwig, though the concern is appreciated.” Rubbing the back of your neck you sigh, “I wanted to tell you something person and very private, even the Administrator doesn’t know.”

 

With his curiosity peaked Ludwig pulls out a clipboard and a pen from his lab coat, which is placed onto one of the counters, “Please do tell.” Ready to take notes the Medic awaits what you have to speak to him about.

 

Clearing your throat you look up to the man before you, “I was selected by Miss Pauling to become a mercenary with all of you however when I met with her she was disappointed because well… I’m a woman.” Flinching away slightly you wait for any signs of disgust. When nothing happens you continue, “With the BLU team now having a full load of our Intelligence they’ll know about me and I was advised to confide in you about this.”

 

Scribbling notes the Medic nods as you speak, “I see, zhis is rather unusual…” Tapping his pen to his lip the man hums, “While I know this may complicate zhings vith zhe others I appreciate you coming to me.” Placing his clipboard down Ludwig smiles, “I say we wait until after our cease fire day tomorrow and confront any issues zhat may happen vhen back in battle.”

 

“What if they try to blackmail me though? I mean wouldn’t you use this information negatively given half the chance? Perhaps I should leave? Is it too late for that?” Rambling you forget yourself, lost in the doubts filling your mind.

 

“Charlie… Charlie… Charlie!” Snapping out of your trance you look up to see Ludwig smiling down at you with a tissue, “Relax Charlie, ve vill handle zhis vith discretion, you said you vere advised to see me, who else knows?”

 

Taking the tissue you wipe your face, unaware you had been crying. “Spy, he figured it out on the first day.” You admit scrunching up the now damp tissue, “He has also been helping me with reducing my femininity.”

 

Nodding the Medic offers a bin for your tissue which you dispose of quickly. “Vell zhen zhere is no issue, zhe others are unlikely to figure it out unless you tell zhem, vhich I vould not advise unless necessary.” Looking at you the Medic offers a now clean hand, “Come, zhe others are likely waiting and I heard zhat a delivery vas made today.”

 

Taking Ludwig’s hand you allow him to lead you from the medical bay, the pair of you walking together down the hall until you reach the common room where sounds of screaming are louder than normal, names and blame being thrown around the room. “Is it really a good idea I go in there?” You ask glancing up at Ludwig then to the door.

 

Laughing the Medic opens the door, “Nonsense Charlie, zhis is normal vhen ve loose.” As the man enters the room it becomes quieter, all eyes watching as you follow behind the Medic over to a crate upon the work counter labelled ‘Rations’.

 

Opening the crate you see an assortment of various meats, fresh vegetables and fruits along with a large fresh carton of milk and small box of tea. With a small grin you lift out each item putting them away into cupboards and the fridge until satisfied, turning you notice the room watching as you finish. “Well I’ll be, someone who actually knows where this shit goes!” Jeremy laughs, “Normally we just leave it in the crate!”

 

“You have got to be kidding me right? That’s why there is no decent food! You don’t store it correctly!” A little angry you begin preparing a meal using some ingredients you left out. “We’re having duck confit tonight, request of Spy. I’ve never made it before so it may be a little different to what you’re used to.”

 

The suited man looks surprised that you remembered his request but then smiles bowing his head, “French food? This is what happens when you let foreigners fight your battles!” Shouts Soldier who is still bitter about losing the battle today. His arms folded and he pouts at the small table he and Engineer are playing cards at.

 

Chuckling Dell smiles, “Well it sounds like a good meal and if it’s half as good as the meal you made yesterday we’ll be just fine!” The man taking off his helmet and letting it sit on the table as he deals out more cards.

 

Running over to the counter Pyro begins pointing at the duck meat and flapping their arms, “Mmmm mmm mmmpph!” Spinning the masked person keeps flapping until they trip over from dizziness

 

Helping the Pyro up Demoman laughs, “Easy there Pyro, don’t want y’ getting too excited, it isn’t even cooked yet!” Helping the now wobbly Pyro to the sofa Tavish smiles at you, “And lad! Be sure to keep that meat nice and tender! Ain’t nothing worse than overcooked duck!”

 

With a nod you begin preparing the meat, placing it in a pot to slowly boil in a portion of tendered fat, the pot simmering gently over the hob. “This is going to take a while and won’t be ready until late so please don’t touch anything, if it burns we’ll have no food for tonight!” You state, more of an order than a request. The team all nod and begin to enjoy the evening quietly, the horrible mood shifted by the pleasant smell of another home cooked meal.

 

While you wait you decide to visit Mick, apologise for the way you behaved the night before and offer to cook something for him as a way of reconciliation. Walking from the base you cross the sand to Sniper’s camper, knocking lightly on the door. “Bugger!” You here as the camper rattles, something smashing to the floor inside. “A minute mate, gone and dropped a fucking jar!”

 

Standing outside the camper you kick softly as the sand beneath your feet, waiting until the door creaks open, the man before you shirtless as he looks down at you from within the van, “Hey…” Looking at the man before you, you notice three scars scattered over his torso, your eyes focusing on the large Y-shaped cross-section down the centre of his form.

 

“This is your first time seeing these right Roo?” Mick states as he gestures towards the scars upon himself. “I won’t go into detail but without these scars I’d be dead, Ludwig is the genius behind these.” Mick then looks down at you, “So why you here? Want to get more lessons then flee like a scared wallaby?”

 

Chuckling awkwardly you shake your head, “No actually, I came to apologise for last night. I just…” Considering what to say you inhale softly, “I got a sudden wave of exhaustion and really needed to get some rest.” Rubbing the back of your neck you glance up to see Sniper now stood with his arms crossed. “I wanted to offer something as compensation, I’m cooking duck confit tonight for Spy and wondered if you wanted a special meal next week?”

 

Letting out a short laugh the Sniper smirked, “You think you can cook something to appease me? You must be a joker worse than Scout!” Letting out another laugh the Sniper shakes his head, “Sure, cook me something different. Make some Lamington cakes.”

 

Curious you tilt your head, “What’s in them?” You ask cautiously, concerned there may be some kind of Australian bush meat involved. “It’s an actual cake and not some kind of weird meat right?”

 

Letting out a sigh Mick looks down at you, “Listen Roo, I know everyone refers to me as the ‘Bush Man’ but I grew up on a farm and my mum cooked normal food.” Smiling softly the Sniper looks up, “What I wouldn’t give to taste her cakes again.”

 

Feeling your heart squeeze you bow your head, “Sorry, I guess I over stepped a boundary there…” Kicking the sand you keep your head down, “Do you have her recipe by any chance? I’ve never made Lamington Cakes before and I’d love to learn how.”

 

A little uneasy Mick stares at you for a moment, “I’m afraid I don’t have it written down, she just made them from memory.” Watching as you look up the man glances away, “Though I can remember how she did it, I used to watch all the time as a Roo myself.”

 

Getting a little excited you smile widely up at the Sniper, “So we could make them together?! I’m sure your mum would be proud if you taught another person to make them!”

 

“I reckon she would Roo, though if you’re serious about this I won’t be cooking in that kitchen, it’ll be done right here in my camper.” Mick smiled as he explains, “Cooking where everyone else is doesn’t feel like home, you know?”

 

Blushing a little you nod, “Yeah I can understand that. It’s why I kick everyone out when I cook. Unless it’s a meal that takes forever to cook! I’m so used to being alone in a kitchen.” Holding your smile firmly you continue, “When would be a good time for us to do this?”

 

Taken aback by your willingness the Sniper smirked, “Well as we’re having French food tonight why not tomorrow? It may lift everyone’s spirits and it’s a cease fire day so we’ll have all morning to prepare.”

 

Nervous and excited you grin “That sounds perfect! Shall we say eight-thirty?”

 

Groaning Mick sighs, “That’s early but sure, I’ll write you a list of ingredients, they should have come with the rations today.” Walking into his camper Mick leaves the door open, his form disappearing from your view.

 

Curious you take a few steps inside the van, “So where’s your kitchen?” You ask taking another step inside, then as you spot Mick leaning over slightly you realise he is too tall for his own mobile home and begin to stifle a laugh.

 

“Go on laugh it up Roo, just be thankful you are able to fit inside a normal bed.” The Sniper remarks walking back over to you holding a piece of scrap paper with a list written on it. “Here, these are the ingredients we need.”

 

Taking the note you fold it up and place it inside your pocket, “Don’t you have a room inside the base?” Watching carefully you get a silent understanding. “Yeah I’m not much of a people person either.”

 

Nodding Mick gestures towards the door to his camper, “Right and you got a duck to cook Roo. Don’t let it get burnt.”

 

Without saying anything you turn and leave, hearing the sound of the door of the camper shutting behind you as you make your way back towards the base, sand and gravel scuffing beneath your boots. Once finally back in the base you are overwhelmed by the sounds of shouting and swearing coming from just down the hall in the common room. “Oh yeah, I get it.” You mumble to yourself.

 

Entering the loud room you notice the complete mess of magazines and broken glasses scattered across the floor, Spy and Scout arguing loudly with one another, a slash across Scout’s cheek still bleeding as he begins to raise a fist to punch the masked man.

 

“Stop little man. Is not good to fight here.” Misha speaks up walking over to Jeremy and placing a large hand over the young man’s shoulder. “Charlie has returned. Food will be soon.”

 

Lowering his fist Jeremy scoffs and shakes of the Heavy’s hand, opting to slump onto the couch in a sulk. “Sure, whatever. French food should be great(!)” His sarcastic tone doesn’t go unnoticed by the Spy however who throws you a small apologetic glance.

 

Shrugging you head for the oven, opening the pot lid carefully to see the duck has simmered perfectly on the low flame. Looking through the drawers you find a relatively clean tea towel and lift the pot off the heat. “Another hour and dinner will be ready.” You announce to the now quieter room, heads all acknowledging you in one form or another, all that is except for Scout.

 

Taking this opportunity you leave the common room in favour of taking a long needed shower after the rough day on the battlefield you’ve had. Stripping yourself of your uniform and bindings you walk into the shower of your room and stand beneath the warming water, steam surrounding you as the mirror of your bathroom fogs.

 

Lost in the heat of the water you don’t hear the knocking to your bedroom door, unaware any had entered your room until Spy clears his throat. “Spy! What the hell are you doing?!” You yell out trying to cover as much of yourself as you can.

 

“Relax mon cher, I already told you that I have no interest in your body.” Stood on the other side of the fogged glass the man has his back to you. “I thought you’d be distracted so I came to tell you it’s almost been an hour.” Waving a hand the man disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.

 

Nervously you exit the shower, wrapping yourself in a towel while waving an arm around your room to ensure the masked man didn’t just cloak himself. Confident you are once again alone you re-bind your chest and layer on an oversized jumper with sweatpants.

 

Once back in the common room you watch as all the eager hungry faces watch you, plates already set upon the counter waiting with cutlery cleaned and set up to be collected. Chuckling to yourself you open the over door, the smell of duck filling the air, a series of deep inhales echoing behind you as you pull the meat from the heated case.

 

Setting the duck upon the counter you begin to slowly slice the meat open to ensure it’s cooked throughout, satisfied you begin slicing it and placing each portion onto a plate with accompanying vegetables. “As the French say, ‘bon appetite’” smirking you watch as Spy just shakes his head as the other mercenaries race towards their chosen plate.

 

Sitting with the others you wait for the masked man to take his first mouthful, his normally stone face changing as the meat is chewed within his mouth, his brows lifting and the corners of his mouth arching upwards. Swallowing Spy turns to you, “This, while not how I usually take it, is a very delicious variation on a traditional French meal. Well done Charlie.”

 

With a wide smile you nod and begin to enjoy your own portion of the meal, the others all eating with gusto, Jeremy while reserved at first now trying to fit as much as he can into his mouth without chewing.

 

Before long all the men finished their meals, Sniper even coming to collect his portion and sitting with the group. A rarity Dell whispered to you. Once the plates were stacked on the counter you rolled up the sleeves of your jumper about to begin washing the dishes up when Misha gripped your wrist. “Misha will do dishes tonight.” He explains with a large smile.

 

Grateful you smile back and give his hand a gentle squeeze before turning to leave. Entering your room you yawn widely, back arching with a loud crack as you begin to reach beneath your jumper. The hem of your bindings loose as you begin to unravel it. “Well it’s been a stressful day but tomorrow should be good.” You say to your plush, his one bead eye looking blankly at you. “I’m cooking with Mick tomorrow, we’re making something his mum used to, and I’m a little excited.” You pause. “Okay a lot excited!”

 

Letting your bindings fall to the floor you clamber into your bed, clinging tightly to Micky as you nuzzle his fluffy cheek. “Goodnight Micky.” Closing your eyes you drift into a peaceful sleep.


End file.
